About Me

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I have been at rock bottom and back. I want to share my journey with you. I have felt love deeper and stronger than I ever knew possible. I have grown closer to Christ and been influenced by amazing people.

Life....at last

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Inner Beauty v Outer Beauty

Who ever said to not judge a book by its cover must have been through something that brought them to look on the inside of people. Maybe someone didn't give them a chance because of what was on the outside, or maybe it really is just to not judge an actual book by its cover. I guess you can take it as you want. But I think I have new found respect for that saying.

I have never really been one to base my solid and concluding opinion on someone by only their looks. I have always loved to get to know people, find out where they are from and what they want out of life. Find THEIR story. I believe that everyone has a story and that is a big impact on how they find themselves. Obviously my regular readers know that I have been through a lot and that has had a huge impact who I am today. But recently my self respect was challenged. I liked this guy and things were going really well. We totally clicked in every way but one apparently. He lead me to believe that no matter how much weight I had gained since the birth of my child, it didn't matter because he liked me for who I was. Well that turned out to not be the case and my feelings were hurt when he said that he didn't want to go on a date with me because I am bigger than he thought. Well that's fine if I'm bigger than he thought, but to lead me to that point is wrong. I let it get me down and was so self aware of my body when really I should be fine. I mean after you place your child for adoption, its not like a month or even a year later you are all better and ready to go. But especially right after I can promise that the first thing that was on my mind was not to get to the gym and shed those pounds! I had to cry and let it out and work out me feelings. And to this day I will admit that I am still sad and not over it. But will I ever be? Will I ever be over the fact that I grew a beautiful creation of God in my body and gave birth to him, knowing him, loving him, and wanting to be everything I ever could to him, then handing him to another woman to raise him and call him hers? HA! no! not ever! he is and forever will be my son.

So I look at the this whole inner and outer beauty thing and I think... Is it all my outer beauty? is that what I need to work on? Is that one right guy out there going to be looking for me by my outer beauty only? I don't think so. I believe that who a person is, is all that matters. I mean if you are going to not give someone a chance because you don't really like the way they look...then YOU have some issues to work out. If you look at someone and they are not what you are used to seeing...so what! To me that is part of the fun in life! Seeing all the different people. The colors the races, the religions, everything! I love people! I don't care what you look like. Its who you are on the inside that makes you who you are on the outside! I am a firm believer of that and I always will be.

So I challenge you the reader, that next time you see someone that may be a little different of if someone hits on you that is not to your complete physical liking, get off your high thrown that you think you sit on and get to know them. There is a reason that person is here and same for you. We all came the same way and we all should never look at another and just because of the "outerness" of them judge them. You could really be missing out on a beautiful person. If you can make an effort to not make or pass a judgment on someone until you know them then the good deed will be passed on. I know that we all feel like we are good people and would want someone to give us a chance. Well if we something to be different we cant just sit around and wait for others to do it. Get off your butt and make a difference! You may be one person, but it has to start somewhere. We are all worth getting to know. We were all worth a chance at life right? well then don't make someone elses life worse just cause you "aren't sure". There are good, great, amazing people out there. Lets get to know each other. Lets get to know the people that share this amazing journey together called life. You never know who you will meet. That one person could change your life in a way you didn't even know needed to be changed.
There are beautiful people around us everyday, all the time. Don't be shy and don't be shallow. be the better version of you. Take a deep look into yourself and you'll find that beautiful person. You'll find that person that is just dying to come out and see the world. Dare to be you.